withholding truth

We think that withholding truth is somehow different than not telling the truth. Whether we like it or not, we do all kinds of things we are not even aware of to avoid the truth about ourselves and to withhold it from others. We withhold it from our spouses.  We withhold it from our friends.  We even think we can withhold it from God.

Our marriage and relationships are like an iceberg. The thing that’s dangerous about an iceberg is that what lies below the surface is usually larger than what you can see above the waterline. The same thing is true in our lives.  There are huge parts of us that we don’t allow others to see and we don’t want others to see.

We do everything possible to let people see only what we want them to see.  We try to do everything possible to avoid allowing others (including our spouses) to see below the surface to see the real us.  The problem is: When we withhold truth, we limit the level of intimacy we are capable of experiencing.

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false self

The false self is pretending, consciously or unconsciously, to be somebody you are not. It is defensive and superficial and it severely limits our relationships. The degree to which we are living out of our false self exists on a continuum that ranges from mild to severe. We are all in process. Use the simple assessment below to get an idea of where you fall on the continuum. Note each one that describes you.

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I recognize the fact that talking about our finances can be a very painful subject.  Most of us want to avoid this discussion at all costs.  We usually run in the opposite direction when the subject comes up.  Putting our heads in the sand about our finances is not going to make the problem away though!  We must address the big white elephant in the room or it is only going to get worse.  We must develop a plan for our finances!

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active learner

I am a very routine and structured person.  This has it’s advantages and disadvantages.  One of the advantages of this trait is consistency.  I am good at maintaining things and keeping things going.  One of the disadvantages of this trait is also consistency.  Sometimes I am too good at maintaining things.  Sometimes yesterday’s successes can become tomorrow’s problems for me!

It is far too easy for me to get stuck in a rut.

It is far too easy for me to become to attached to doing things a certain way.

It is far too easy for me to be content at where I am at in my growth.

The question is: How can we stop yesterday’s successes from becoming tomorrow’s problems?  In order to do accomplish this we need to be active learners.

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There’s probably no area greater, no area more important than our relationships. There is probably no area that has the potential to destroy our life than any else.  Lots of people have trouble with relationships. Whether it is in our marriages, with our kids, with other family members or with co-workers and friends. And when there is no plan for our relationships we will just end up anywhere. And anywhere is probably not where we want to be. Every relationship ends up somewhere, some relationships end up somewhere on purpose.

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clutter epidemic

Today we find ourselves in a clutter epidemic.  Most of us know we own too much stuff. We feel the weight and burden of our clutter. We get tired of cleaning and managing and organizing our stuff. Our toy rooms are messy, our drawers don’t close, and our closets and garages are filled from top to bottom. But at what point do all of the toys, gadgets and clothes that fill our homes become too much?

Today, increasing data is being collected about our homes, our shopping habits, and our spending. The research is confirming this observation: We own too much stuff! And it is robbing us of life.

Here are 21 surprising statistics that help us understand our clutter epidemic and how big of a problem our accumulation has actually become.

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So many people live day in and day out with no purpose. They get into survival mode because they have to live but it doesn’t take long before that snowballs on them and they end in a very desperate kind of place.  Then they find themselves dying on the inside, miserable and with no passion or purpose in life. When this happens it causes all kinds of problems.

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