We think that withholding truth is somehow different than not telling the truth. Whether we like it or not, we do all kinds of things we are not even aware of to avoid the truth about ourselves and to withhold it from others. We withhold it from our spouses. We withhold it from our friends. We even think we can withhold it from God.
Our marriage and relationships are like an iceberg. The thing that’s dangerous about an iceberg is that what lies below the surface is usually larger than what you can see above the waterline. The same thing is true in our lives. There are huge parts of us that we don’t allow others to see and we don’t want others to see.
We do everything possible to let people see only what we want them to see. We try to do everything possible to avoid allowing others (including our spouses) to see below the surface to see the real us. The problem is: When we withhold truth, we limit the level of intimacy we are capable of experiencing.