We must have the right attitudes in order to have joy in our relationships! An attitude is simply “a mental position or feeling with regard to an object.” In other words, our attitude is related to our outlook on life and how we view situations that come our way.
What we focus our minds on is very important because what we think about will affect our emotions which will affect our actions.
3 attitudes that will kill our joy in relationships
All of these attitudes are self-centred/self focused.
The person with this attitude says: “I can do life on my own. I don’t need anybody. I can do this all by myself.”
The attitude of self-reliance excludes others. This attitude is very independent. It doesn’t want to include others in their lives because that might mean giving up control or it might mean doing things a different way.
We need the attitude of working with others. We need to have the word “we” in our vocabulary if we going to have joy in our relationships. We were never meant to do life alone and by ourselves. God created us to be connected and interdependent with others.
The person with this attitude says: “I am better than everyone else. My needs matter more than your needs. What I care about is more important than what you care about.”
The person with this attitude only wants to exalt themselves and they will seek to do that at all costs. The person with this attitude likes to be noticed for their successes. When you are talking to them; it is all about them. They are not interested in you at all. They are very prideful.
We are to humble ourselves and consider others better than ourselves. To humble ourselves means to recognize that everything we are is from God. We can never earn the right to hold ourselves above others. Everything we are is from the grace of God.
What does it mean to consider others better than ourselves? This does not mean that we must have false or unrealistic views of ourselves as compared to others but it means that our consideration for others must precede concern for ourselves.
This is describing a community where everyone is giving consideration to the other person. i.e. I consider you above me and you consider me above you. It is reciprocal.
The person with attitude says: “I will only participate in relationships that meet my needs and relationships that cater to my interests.”
The person with this attitude only considers their interests, their rights and their plans. They do not care about anyone else’s interests, rights and plans. This person wants more for themselves and they will step on and over people to get it.
We should not only look to our own interests but also to the interest of others. We don’t just ignore our own interests BUT the interests of others must also be part of our concern. We need to be looking out for the interest of others.
Which of these 3 attitudes do you struggle with the most?