Stress is prevalent in our world today. It is a byproduct of our age. Pick up any periodical at the public library and see if doesn’t contain an article mentioning stress.
According to Dr. Hans Selye, the “father” of stress research, stress is“the nonspecific response of the body to any demand made upon it.” This definition is contrary to the popular thinking that defines stress as an unpleasant circumstance, such as tax time or a screaming baby.
I really like how Richard Swenson in book “Margin” defines stress. He says:
“Stress is not the circumstance, it is our response to the circumstance”. pg. 44
So this means that it makes little difference if the situation we react to is positive or negative. What makes the biggest difference is how we respond to the situation. So what you may find stressful may not be the same as what I find stressful.
Now, this does not diminish the negative effects of stress. It just helps us understand stress a bit better.
Excessive stress does have a negative effect on our lives. I have experienced the negative effects of stress many times in my life.
Stress has caused sleepless nights.
Stress has caused stomach pains.
Stress has caused heightened blood pressure.
According to Swenson,
“Human performance does best, and even thrives, if we keep the amount of change and stress in our lives within an acceptable range of tolerances.” pg. 49
My tendency is to exceed my range of stress tolerance routinely and I pay for it. I have to continually work at managing my stress so that it lives within an acceptable range of tolerances.
3 ways I manage my stress:
1. Embrace my limits.
I recognize that I am not superman and I will never will be. My body has limits and I need to respect them. Pastor Wayne Cordeiro has a great principle called “The Plate.” He says that every leader has a certain-sized plate based on their skills, gifts, life season, health, etc. Not all our plates are the same size, and that is the way God designed it.
I need to trust that God made me who I am to do what I can do and leave it at that. I realize that a lot of my stress comes from the fact that I have a salad plate stacked with a buffet plate’s amount of food.
2. Take enough time off each week to rest and replenish.
I went through most of my life as a pastor taking only 1 day off a week (and even that was a rarity). God did not design my body to work 7 days a week! It needs a day to recharge, refresh, replenish and relax. I also make it a priority to be home more nights than I am out. My family needs me at home. I need to be at home.
3. Regular exercise.
I find exercise to be a great stress killer. It does so many positive things to my body. It helps me relax. It helps bring my blood pressure down. It helps me focus and concentrate. My goal is to exercise 3 to 5 times a week (usually this means going for a 20 minute walk).
How do you manage your stress levels?
I am continuing on in my book club discussions of Richard Swenson’s book “Margin.” This week I read Chapter 4: The Pain of Stress. Whether you’ve read the chapter or not, please share your thoughts!
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Kill your stress before it kills you!
3 ways to build margin into our lives
6 ways to have a strong body
Marginless living
5 ways progress sabotages margin
We live in an unprecedented day with unprecedented problems
What a simple and profound way to state this: “Stress is not the circumstance, it is our response to the circumstance.” It’s so easy to lose sight of this in the midst of difficult things. We think “I need out of this stress” when we really want out of the situation, but we can govern our responses. We can pray. We can worship God. We can read scripture.
Your principles are what I use as well though I’m not nearly vigilant enough with #2. Working on it.
Thanks Kevin.
Swenson’s definition definitely changes the way most of us think of stress.
#2 is critically important Jason!
Thanks for sharing.
I continually remind myself to “let whatever is, be OK.” It’s the resistance to “what is” that causes stress. That and I meditate every day. Makes all the difference in the world.
Yes, it goes back to Swenson’s definition: “Stress is not the circumstance, it is our response to the circumstance.”
We can control our responses; we can’t always control our circumstances.
Thanks for sharing Debbie!
Hey Kevin,
I find this post to be very beneficial to those who don’t really know how to handle stress. I myself, take things as they come and know everything happens for a reason so I don’t sweat it.
Thanks Kevin
Thanks for sharing Eldridge!
One could think he doesn’t need rest, but that’s so wrong! Without knowing, the body shuts down and that causes pain on the nervous system – stress.
Also, exercising releases endorphins, which lower the stress levels. That’s one of the reasons i picked up jogging. At first i just couldn’t believe how well it made me feel. Everyone should do at least an hour a day of sports.
Exercise is definitely critical in handling stress.
Thanks for sharing Lynn!
The comic strip at the top cracked me up [smile].
~Luke
I couldn’t resist when I saw it.
Thanks for sharing Luke!
Hi Kevin,
I like that principle of “The Plate”. We tend to fill our to-do-list to overflowing and feel stressed if we can’t accomplish all of them.
One blogger pointed out that many of us have become a human doing instead of a human being. We feel that we always have to be productive and we don’t take the time to rest and recharge.
The best way I manage stress is by sleeping. I’m lacking on the exercise side and I may be missing out on its benefits.
Thanks for sharing. Have a nice day!
Hi Theresa:
We definitely need to take time to recharge. Our bodies need it.
Thanks for sharing!
Kevin
I don’t have something clear to “kill” stress but i know when to say “enough is enough!”. I walk on parks sometime with my wife, i just go to run a litlle by myself and in some week-ends i go with my friends at fishing.
Those sound like great stress killers Carl!
Thanks for sharing.
Another inspiring article Kevin. Deep breathing is a BIGGIE for me in terms of stress reduction tools. Just yesterday I was doing something online for the first time and it required me to learn several new procedures – I’m far from technically inclined and could feel the muscles in my shoulders getting tighter and tighter. I took a break and sat outside in the shade for awhile focusing on my breathing. When I went back to the project everything just fell into place.
I am learning to use deep breathing as a stress relief technique and I am realizing how much it works!
Thanks for sharing Marty!
wow..its nice Idea about stress..actually i am always stress because of my job. and if i am so stress i forget to eat my dinner or lunch i automatically go to my room and laying in my bed and have a sleep. hehehe. when i saw this post.. i got a Idea how to control my self Even i am so Stress thanks to this site
Thanks for stopping by and sharing Tincang!
An inspiring article one should read. I am amazed by the facts you pointed out here. Truly grateful to know this.
Thanks for sharing Mark!
Thanks Kevin. This is absolutely very important. Not knowing how to manage stress can paralyze your life and business. We just have to learn how to respond and understand there are circumstances we have no control of. On the other hand, we can all learn how to stop sweating and stressing small stuff. Thanks for the 3 tips, definitely helpful to a lot of people.
Thanks for sharing Liz!
Great post, Kevin! You are so right about the need to understand that stress is both good and bad. I remember reading somewhere that of the three biggest stressors, two were positive (getting married was one and the other was either getting a new job or buying a new house, I can’t remember which) compared to one that was negative (losing a close loved one). This reminds us that we have to know when to pause and appreciate our blessings in life rather than keep pushing.
“This reminds us that we have to know when to pause and appreciate our blessings in life rather than keep pushing.”
Great point Steve!
Thanks for sharing.
Hi Kevin,
I totally agree that stress is our response to the circumstance. I understand that there are some circumstances that make one become stressed, but there are those I don’t really understand who just fret about almost everything. I also agree that we should take some time off to rest and gather our wits in our days off work and spend more time with our loved ones. One stress buster for me is to go to a spa and have a relaxing massage.
That sounds like a great stress buster Felicia!
Thanks for sharing.
Kevin,
I definitely know when I hit my stress point, because my productivity definitely goes down. The fact is that rest is huge with any endeavor.
Andy
We must make rest a priority. I find that the more I make time for rest the more productive I am.
Thanks for sharing Andy!
Exercise helps a lot in managing stress. It actually gives balance to the body. Yet, for most people, they find it hard to commit themselves to do simple daily exercises. I can’t relate on that because I’m guilty of it! LOL
It’s interesting how we know the benefits of exercise yet we still struggle to do it.
Thanks for sharing Mark!
LoL Indeed that’s absolutely true for most people. Just like me, I find exercising as an additional work for me rather than considering it as a fun activity to keep me healthy all the time.
We need to make an appointment (like we would with work) to exercise every day! This helps make it a priority.
Kevin,
Good post. I enjoy reading your perspectives, especially on exercising as a way to feel better.
I’ve found a similar problem these days with stress and have realized that it is due a lot to the uncertainty surrounding our life today. From careers to educating our kids to a host of things. My perspective is to Embrace the Chaos! which is all about the way to look at life and accept it as it is – full of disorder, complexity and uncertainty. My 8 Rules are similar to the things you’ve stated above, which include: Being Grateful, Trusting in Yourself, Being Present, Putting purpose to work and others. Good stuff Kevin. Thanks for sharing
Bob
Great thoughts Bob! Thanks for sharing.