I believe our lives can be equated to an iceberg. With an iceberg we only see about 10% of it. The rest of the iceberg – the other 90% is below the surface – it can’t be seen.
That is what it is like for us as well.
What others see of us is really only about 10% of who we really are.
But it’s the things deep beneath the surface – those things that we can’t see – that come out when we are under great stress.
Part of the path that we must walk down as we seek to get below the surface and really understand who we are is learning to understand our emotions.
We are made in God’s image which includes emotional, social, intellectual, spiritual and physical. All of these areas need to be developed.
When we get in touch with our true feelings/emotions we gain the courage to assert our true self.
The problem, however, is that we can’t reflect and respond thoughtfully to our feelings if we don’t know what they are.
4 steps to knowing yourself better
(from “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: Unleash a Revolution in Your Life In Christ” by Peter Scazerro)
1. Pay attention to your interior in silence and solitude.
Enormous distractions keep us from listening to our feelings, our desires, our dreams, our likes and dislikes. Many people around us would like to fix, save, advise and set us straight into becoming the people they would like We need to be alone so we can listen.
2. Find trusted companions.
We need people in our lives who truly want to help us understand ourselves. If you are married this should be your spouse.
3. Move out of your comfort zone.
Trust God and take some small steps of risk to be honest with yourself and with others. This might be met with resistance initially. It is going to feel awkward, it is going to be hard but we need to move out of comfort zone in order to move forward.
4. Pray for courage.
There will always be some fear of others’ reaction. People may not like the changes in us. People will want us to change back but we need the courage and resolve to press on.
A helpful exercise
Here is a helpful exercise that I recommend doing daily that will help you begin to understand what is going on inside of yourself.
Ask yourself these 4 questions:
1. What are you made about? (What am I hurt about?)
2. What are you sad about?
3. What are you anxious about?
4. What are you glad about?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject in the comments!