We all have blind spots in our lives. There are things in our lives that others can see that we can’t. The truth is: We will never grow beyond the blind spots in our lives.
We need people who will speak the truth in love to us. We need people who care enough about us that they will confront our blind spots.
Most people will never get to the point where they allow people to speak into their lives. Most of us hide behind a facade and we ignore each others blind spots.
It is only as we allow people to speak into our lives that we are able to grow deeper in our relationships with them.
6 practical ways to confront people’s blind spots
1. Don’t confront if you are not willing to be confronted.
2. Don’t talk about them; talk to them.
3. Don’t do it harshly.
4. Don’t do it hastily.
5. Tell them what they are doing right before you tell them what they are doing wrong.
6. Share your own faults before pointing out others.
May you have the courage to allow people to speak into your life and may you have the courage to confront others.
Do you have anyone in your life who loves you enough to confront your blind spots?
***** This post was inspired by this message by Mark Batterson.
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Kevin, the learning curve on this one can be so hard, but you give some great advice here. Some aren’t willing to confront at all, but that’s not truly loving a person and seeking their best. It takes a lot of practice and there will probably be plenty of missteps, but grace is enough. Great reminder here.
The learning curve is this is VERY VERY hard!
As you said, it takes lots of practice and a lot of grace.
Thanks for sharing Jason!
I’m not entirely convinced that #6 is a good approach. It might provoke one of the following counterproductive responses:
1. “My situation is different than yours.”
2. “With your history, who are you to tell me anything?”
Hi Jenny:
The point of #6 is that transparency and honesty should be a regular part of the relationship already. When we have these characteristics already built in it is much easier to confront and be confronted.
Thanks for sharing!
Kevin
not nearly enough people in my life to confront my blind spots. people are too afraid of losing friendship when the reality is, it grows them. It builds trust and intimacy. This is a newer concept to me too, so i understand why some…ok most
are so hesitant to confront. I was taught just a few short years ago that you take what people say to you (regardless of how they say it, really) and, being honest with yourself, consider it. if it’s valid, change it. if it’s not, forget about it and move on. With that, if it keeps coming to your mind, maybe you shouldn’t cast it aside so quickly 
Thanks for reminder #3. Just because i learn better that way than people beating around the bush…doesn’t mean everyone does. And i respect that, i just forget sometimes. <3
Great points Bree!
Having the types of relationships that allow for confrontation to take place in healthy ways takes times and a lot of grace.
Thanks for sharing!
Well, the only one that comes to mind first when it comes to someone in my life who loves me enough to confront my blind spots is my mom. The next to her are my siblings. I agree with you, it is the right thing to do to not talk about someone, instead talk to them about their blind spots. But I guess you can’t change anyone so easily and quickly when it comes to “blind spots”.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Felicia!
I see this sort of stuff done wrong in the church and in Christian society, and it being done wrong is a big reason why Christianity is a big turn off for many people in my city.
Addressing blind spots can be tricky… Sometimes what is interpreted by one person as another’s blind spot can be the initial person judging the other and projecting stuff onto them.. I’ve had other people make their stuff my issue when it was their issue that they were projecting onto me. I think the speck and the log verse speaks to this. It’s not merely that one person is a bigger sinner as much as that person may have cloudy perception (of course, that perception can be muddled by not walking with God). I think we prefer to think that perception is objective, but it can be muddled by our own stuff.
I wonder exactly how to adress blind spots. Not exactly how to do so in words, but how to discern the wisdom as to whether the issue belongs to the other, to ourselves, or somewhere in between.
I feel that the person who might address blind spots needs to be invited in. They can’t push their way in.
I agree that this can be abused if not done correctly. There must be “good will” in the relationship first. The relationship must be at a place where there is trust.
Thanks for sharing Sara.
My wife’s pretty good at this!
Yep, our spouses usually are.
Thanks for sharing Floyd!
Good list, although number 6 should come before number 5.
; )
Thanks for sharing Ed!