In April of the year 2000, Angus Reid, one of North America’s largest marketer and opinion research companies, did an opinion pool with Canadians about the church. Two questions were asked: (1) Do you believe in God and (2) Other than on social occasions such as weddings, funerals or baptisms, how often did you attend religious services in the past 12 months? Then people were asked to rate how they felt about two statements: (1) I don’t think you need to go to church to be a good Christian and (2) My private beliefs about Christianity are more important than what is taught by any church.
Here are some of the results: While 84% believe in God, just 20% attend church weekly. Since WWII, church attendance has plummeted while belief in God has remained stable. Eight in ten (81%) agree “I don’t think you need to go to church in order to be a good Christian.”Seven in ten (70%) agree “My private beliefs about Christianity are more important than what is taught by any church.” And here’s the clincher, 77% of those surveyed identify themselves with a Christian church. The question I had after reading this survey was, “Why is there such a vast gulf between belief and belonging?”
I think there are several reasons for this and I think these reasons come from misconceptions about attending church. First of all, some people see attending church as an obligation – they ought to do it. Church is just another obligation that they have to do: like paying taxes, visiting the in-laws, going to the doctor or dentist and so on. These people go to church under duress or maybe as a courtesy to their spouse or parents. Now this in and of itself is not necessarily wrong it is just missing the point in a big way.
Secondly, some people see church as an event – today family we are going to church. Kind of like going to the movies or going to the circus. It’s an event not an everyday happening. Sometimes those events are things like baptisms, weddings and funerals. I heard someone refer to these events as hatching, matching and dispatching. Kind of like the fellow who said, “Preacher the first time I went to church they sprinkled water on me and the second time I went they threw rice at me.” The preacher thought for a moment and then replied, “Yeah and I suppose the next time you come we’ll throw dirt on you.” For some, church is just something that you do every Sunday like you may mow your lawn every Saturday. It’s just something you go to. By the way this isn’t a new phenomenon. A man named Thomas Fuller made this comment almost 400 years ago: “Many come to bring their clothes to church rather than themselves.”
The reality is that the Bible doesn’t teach that attending church is an obligation or that attending church is an event. As a matter of fact for the first 300 years the church existed, it was the socially and religiously unacceptable thing to do. It could get you fed to the lions! But when the New Testament sought a metaphor to use for the church of Christ, time and time again, it came back to the metaphor “family”. There’s a big difference between attending a church service out of obligation or as an event and belonging to a church family. You can attend a church week after week and never really belong to the family. You need to understand that the church is not the place you go to. It’s the family you belong to. This is the subject I would like to write about over the next several days. I would like to look at five benefits of belonging to a church family versus just attending a church.
Why do you think there is such a vast gulf between belief and belonging? What other misconceptions do you think people have about church?
I think there may be such a gulf between belief and belonging because of (a) lack of genuine relationship and authenticity in church, (b) nobody can compete with all the happy shiny people who are tooth-decayingly sweet, and (c) the notion that you have to become like "them" in order to belong.
What about "redheaded stepchild" syndrome where there really is no belonging – you show up as yourself but your real self isn't welcomed?
But what about the difference in the definition of "God?" Did the pollster even narrow that down?
God can be as nebulous as the "god of your understanding" to as narrow as the person of Jesus with all shades in between.
How many of the people who claim to be Christian have really met Christ? At one time I may have claimed the title, but when I met Christ things changed. There was a thirst for teaching and a desire to find community.
Just kicking out some ideas.
NOW you're talking my language.
I think one of the big problems is that we have given the Church four walls and called it church, meaning that 'Church' only happens inside those walls.
Does that make sense?
We then only open the doors to let people in twice a week and somehow expect them not to feel it's an obligation.
I could waffle about this for hours but let's just say that you wrote a GREAT post today Kevin!
Yup, yup. This is what we're trying to help people think about at TheHighCalling.org, too.
I hate to blame the victim, but I think churches feel like a chore to people because they ARE a chore. Too often, they don't feed their community at all. They just feed themselves. When I mow the lawn, I'm doing so because my lawn demands it. I am a slave the growing grass and the neighborhood expectations.
Too often, we go to church because we are slaves to church. We go to keep the institution alive, whether there is life in it or not.
We've got to get back to serving the community. Love God. Love others.
Thanks for sharing MIchelle! I sense a hint of sarcasm in your comments.:) I totally agree with your first statement: "I think there may be such a gulf between belief and belonging because of (a) lack of genuine relationship and authenticity in church." This is something that we (the people that make up the church) need to do something about. It is going to take changing the "culture" of the church. It is going to take courage from a few to fight against this and model authenticity and genuine relationships. I believe it is possible and it is happening in some churches. This is not going to happen in our strength but as we rely on God to bring about this transformation!
What you are saying makes total sense Peter! This goes back to my sermon series that I just finished up. Church is not somewhere we go or something we do – it is who we are! We are the church all the time (whether we are gathered together or scattered in the community). This is the truth that people need to accept and live out!
I hear what you are saying Jaime. There are those who probably answered who didn't have a genuine relationship with God. That being said, I still think this poll demonstrates the huge disconnect between belief and belonging. What it comes back to is people's faulty beliefs of the church. Christians have forgotten that they are the church! They have forgotten that they never cease being the church! To me, this is where the real problem lies …
Good points Marcus! Again, it comes back to people's faulty beliefs about what the church is. Our mindset HAS to change for us to be effective …
Since you asked the question, I have something to throw in as well if you like. One of the reasons most will feel it to be an obligation and less of a "belonging" place, is the constant push for money from so many pulpits today. I've noted in sad fascination that the senior pastor at my current church home VERY seldom misses an opportunity to "remind" everyone of their responsibility to support the church with their tithes and offerings. Not even seriously broaching the subject of tithes (which some believe to be non-applicable to New Covenant Christians), when you go to spend time with you "family" and all they do is ask for money, the relationship suffers.
Ideally, home is a place where your family awaits to share their lives, encourage you, praise and worship God together, and support one another through prayer or outreach. I don't know about anyone else, but if my wife mentioned a desire for money every time I say her, I would begin to have serious concerns about the basis of our relationship, no matter what else she spoke about after mentioning money.
If this doesn't ring true to any of you…try an experiment. For the next week, first thing in the morning, and then again first thing when you get home, before you speak of anything else, be certain to "remind" your spouse of one of their "duties" as your spouse, then feel free to talk about whatever else is on your mind. After a week (if it takes that long…and it won't), ask your spouse how they feel about your reminders.
Just some thoughts…do with it what you will
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Michael! Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. For some reason I am not receiving notifications of comments. I agree 100% with you. You make some very good points about what a church family should be.