Shooting the Breeze
Asking for forgiveness isn’t easy, is it? I believe it is even more difficult as a parent. It can be very hard to admit our weaknesses to our children and to ask for their forgiveness.
There are lots of excuses we can make for ourselves:
“But how is he going to learn discipline if I don’t teach him?”
“It’s my job to see that she behaves. That’s what parents are for.”
“They don’t listen unless I yell.”
When we begin to be defensive and make excuses after we’ve been unfair, we need to ask ourselves, “Could I have accomplished the same thing using a kinder, more productive strategy?” If the answer is yes, we need to immediately go to our child and ask for their forgiveness.
My wonderful wife Lauren modeled this beautifully the other day with our oldest daughter Bethany. Lauren had over reacted in a situation and she realized it had hurt Bethany’s feelings.
Instead of making excuses for her behavior she immediately asked Bethany for forgiveness. I know this wasn’t easy for Lauren but I also know it will have a positive long-term impact on her relationship with Bethany.
I want my daughter’s to learn that even though asking for forgiveness isn’t easy, it is necessary.
The best way for me to accomplish this is through my example. I need to model asking for forgiveness and a great place to start is with them.
Do you find it hard to ask your children for forgiveness?
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No. But, I feel extremely bad that I’ve made the kind of mistake that I have them to forgive it. It’s good for me though. That’s a fat dose of humility if there ever was one!
“That’s a fat dose of humility if there ever was one”! – I couldn’t agree more. There is nothing as humbling as asking your child for forgiveness.
I actually like when they remember the lessons they were taught and disciplibe you in a way. But daddy, you said…. You are so proud they are listening but feel about 2 inches tall that they caught what you didn’t.
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That is very humbling as well!
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It definitely is a fat dose of humility!
Thanks for sharing Stacie!
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Actually, I just called my g-son, who turns 17 next week, and asked him to forgive me b/c I picked on him about his weight yesterday. The Lord laid it on me that it just ain’t my business. He forgave me. Need to learn to keep my mouth shut and, instead, just lay the concerns on the heart of the Lord. Not so easy with my intense, extroverted personality.
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That’s awesome that you did that Joanne! This will be a great teaching moment for your grandson.
Thanks for sharing!
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I actually find it easier because I have started to see my daughter model the behavior. It still is humbling to do but isn’t that good for us?
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It is definitely good for us!
Thanks for sharing Gerald!
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Sometimes yes and sometimes no. I have done it many times, but failed many others. I can be very stubborn at times and like you said, feel justified for certain behaviors. Good reminder here. I want to grow in my parenting–very good. Thanks Kevin.
I want to continue to grow in my parenting too!
Thanks for sharing Jason!
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Kevin, I don’t have kids, but it so hard for me to ask for forgiveness. I have to force myself into saying the words, it is not an automatic reaction for me.
And sometimes I delay it until the inevitable.
It’s very very important for parents to not be afraid to admit they’re wrong and apologize. Usually, the child know they’re wrong, so the best a parent can do is admit it. They won’t fool the child just by denying it.
But if they don’t, then they might lose their credibility.
As I said, I don’t have any kids, I am saying this based on my relationship with my parents.
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Great points Cris!
Thanks for sharing.
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