I have a confession to make: I have a tendency to take on too much by myself. For those who know me best, this is not a shocking revelation. This is something that I continually struggle with. I always seem to find myself in the vicious cycle of taking on too much and then feeling overwhelmed. This is not a good thing on many levels (which I will get to in a bit).
Yesterday, God spoke to me very powerfully on this issue through something I read on the blog Serving Strong. The post was titled “Play Your Part.“. Here is what it said:
One orchestra. Different instruments. One body. Different parts. If I am a flute player, how strange it would be for me to try and play the tuba part. If I were an eye, how strange it would be for me to try to hear what you are saying. And if I am gifted at creative expression in worship arts, how strange it would be for me to take care of the church’s financial statements.
Here are a couple thoughts to ponder this week:
Since we are all different, are you trying to treat everyone the same? Think chess, not checkers.
If you were gifted with certain skills and abilities, should you stick to tasks that honor those skills and abilities? When would it be appropriate to step outside your gift mix (your comfort zone)?
If there is one body with many parts, why are you trying to take on too many roles?
That last statement hit me like a ton of bricks! It made me stop and think about why I take on too many roles. The answers that I came up with were not pretty. In fact, they were quite humbling.
I recognize that there are few reasons why I try to take on too many roles:
- Procrastination: If I don’t take the time to plan something properly then I am left to do it by myself. I can’t expect anyone to help me if I don’t give them enough time to be involved.
- Validation: At times, I still struggle with finding my identity in what I do. At times, I still feel the that the expectation is that I need to be doing everything (which it is not!)
- Control: I like having things done my way. I like to know how things are going. The best way to accomplish this is by doing them by myself.
I warned you, this is not a pretty picture.
By living this way I am not being a contributing part of the body. I am trying to be the whole body! I am not allowing other people to use their gifts and abilities. I am not allowing the body to function as it should. Also, I am needlessly burning myself out in the process which does nobody good!
This needs to change. No, this is going to change!
I am committing myself to making this change happen.
There are a few ministries at my church that I normally just take on and do and I am going to hand them over to someone else. I am going to allow others to play their part in the body. I am going to empower others to use their gifts and abilities.
How about you? Do you try to take on too much by yourself? How do you combat this?
Recommended reading: Leading on Empty: Refilling Your Tank and Renewing Your Passion
The validation I have dealt with a lot. I deal with by reminding myself that where I am weak, He is shown to be strong.
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Amen! Thanks for sharing Michael!
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Oh yeah, Kevin. I've done this before for all the reasons you mentioned and it never turns out that great. Not to mention, I get burned up in the process. Not what God is after! We need some divine wisdom and the mind of Christ. Thanks for the honesty. You are much appreciated.
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Oh this is definitely something I can relate to. Ppl tell me I am a type A personality (altho I beg to differ). I need to always improve my skills, get the best paying job, get annual promotions, start a side business that earns more than my job, have incredible personal skills, be super organized, and still be healthy and have healthy social relationships.
It's hard to not be like this.. I think I'm just wired this way. I'm wired to conquer ^_^
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Oh, I hear you, Kevin! This is something I struggle with on a cylical basis, too. It doesn't appear to get any better with age, either; although I have found that bouts are further and further apart–that's got to count for something, right?! I'll be thinking of you as you try and address this area and please keep us updated. Who knows? Maybe something we'll rub off on me!
Thanks Tiffany! I am slowly learning to be the me that God wants me to be!
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Yep, I definitely relate to that post!
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Thanks Jason!
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It definitely is a hard not to be like this BUT as we seek to become the me that God wants us to be it will become easier. For me, I always have to judge my motivation behind why I am doing something. Sadly, a lot of the time it is looking for that validation.
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Thanks for sharing apesydaisy!
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Very true Monty! Thanks for sharing!
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Thanks @ekda!
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This is a great reminder to BE who GOD made us to be. And count it a privilege to be able add our instrument to the mix, so that the song of His heart would be heard across the land.
Thank you..
Great!
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PS I posted about a donkey too this week.
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This is something we are discussing at our church. We are a new work and have committed to do things differently…to do thing Biblicaly instead of like every other religion. One of those things is to discover our temperaments and spiritual gifts. This is so that we know exactly where it is that God would have us to go. We also know that sometimes he may give us a gift if he needs to but that our base gifts are where we need to start.
Good post!
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Hey,
I can definatley relate to what your post. I am always trying to do to many things at once and it never ends up working for me. I like your 3 reasons for why you do this..procrastination, validation and control. I never thought of why I try to take on to many things, but these reasons certainly make sense to me.
Thank you,
Bethany
I run a blog and a online promotional service so believe me I know what it's like to be pulled apart by my customers and my personal projects I only just made it into the gray group this week and I still got to build a website all by myself. However I thank god that when my friends online fall on there face he reminds them I remember when I fell on my face and they where there to help me. Always remember to return these favors don't ever be the slave girls that hides her talents. That is my favorite proverb in the bible put it applies to taking on too much as well if you don't allow your friends to help you with there talents and this in the online world includes being willing an able to pay for them. Yes I believe even when I break the budget on my online business and have to dip into my personal money to help out like when I brought the little girl with third degree burns her burn cream and paid the shipping Yes it set behind some of my projects but hey it forwarded others we god as in life there must be a balance of the body with the soul.
Sincerely
Monty Ferbert
Thanks for a great post Kevin. As a solopreneur, trying to take on too many roles (especially the ones that I know I'm not the best at) is a constant struggle. I appreciate your blog suggestion to really reflect on whether this is the best way to go about it. Your post was a God-send to me today.
Best,
Monick
I create things for me to take on. I don't have enough blogs so I create one more. :S
The problem is that blogging is not just writing on my site but also commenting on other bloggers sites.
I find that I don't do this as much as I would like to because I have other responsibilities I need to get done or sometimes I just run out of energy.
I think pastors can have a very difficult job when their job description is to be every body part within the church.
To answer your question, I don't think I have done anything to combat this but I will think about it.
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Thanks for sharing Monick!
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Thanks for sharing Bethany!
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I believe, prioritization and delegation go hand in hand. We must determine what is important and do it. If we are not able to do all of it we need to empower others to do it.
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I'm reminded of Suze Orman's pronouncement that "Multi-tasking is the ruination of perfection." Ever since I read that line, I have tried to focus on one activity at a time. I'm also reminded of great advice I received long ago when I was facing six significant challenges. My friend suggested that I concentrate on only one of them, and then everything would fall into place.
Those two experiences have convinced me that I can't do everything by myself.
Great advice Shari!
Thanks for sharing!
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Hey Kevin,
Thanks for sharing this. We were just talking about this at our Church a few weeks back. I believe that we need reminders about the fact that we each have talents and skills in how we are made to complete the body of Christ. When we get out of sync and overwhelmed with things in our lives we need to step back turn to Him and ask…
Thanks for sharing with us all.
Make it a great day!
God Bless,
The GREAT Edward!
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Who you? Who MEEE??? A constant challenge in life is to back off and let others take responsibility… sometimes I think I have a "responsibility-orientation" demon, so to speak. However, by the time I am 50 years old in the Lord in another 5+ years, maybe, just maybe, that portion of my character will have been "redeemed". Thanks for your thoughts and your honesty and straighforwardness.
Thanks for sharing Edward!
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Thankfully we are all works in progress!
Thanks for sharing Joanne!
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Hi Kevin,
I do agree with you, the reason why I try to take many responsibilities by myself is because I want to have things done my way. However, there are times I stop and think that I do not have to do everything myself. God is there is to help me and He helps me by means of the people around me – my family and friends who are willing to help and make life easier. Thanks for sharing!
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Great points Felicia!
Thanks for sharing!
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