For as long as I can remember I have had a fear of heights. When I get to a certain height my stomach begins to flutter, my heart begins to race and my mind tells my body to go no further.
This fear has limited me in many ways.
I can’t clean the gutters on my house because they are too high (I know, some of you are thinking: “That’s a convenient excuse.”)
I will not go on a Ferris Wheel.
I will not cross certain bridges.
You might think that these things are not too limiting and in the grand scheme of things, their not. The problem is that my fear is not limited to just heights.
Because of my fear of failure I have not always pushed myself beyond my comfort zone.
Because of my fear of rejection I have tried to be someone that I am not and I have denied my God-given passions to please others.
Because of my fear of conflict I have not challenged or stood up to individuals when I should have.
Ultimately, fear is False Expectations Appearing Real. Because I have experienced failure, rejection and conflict at different times in my life (and it was unpleasant), my brain has been programmed to view these as negative and as a threat.
As a result, my first instinct to avoid these things at all costs.
So, how does one overcome fear? This is the question that Pete Wilson answers in chapter 5 of his book “Plan B: What Do You Do When God Doesn’t Show Up the Way You Thought He Would?”
In this chapter Pete gives a few answers to this question. He tell us to re-train our minds by learning what are legitimate fears and what is unnecessary worry and anxiety and to get a new perspective (that is Christ’s perspective) on worry and life.
Pete concludes the chapter by stating that the real problem with fear is a lack of faith. He says:
“We’ve lost confidence that our heavenly Father will take care of us” (pg. 61).
Unfortunately, I can totally relate to this. I know that this is the real issue behind my fears.
Pete also says:
“It’s a matter of focusing on what is important, putting first things first,which, of course is God’s Kingdom [Matthew 6:33] – his priorities, his plans, his agenda” (pg. 63).
In other words, we need to put all of our fears into the hands of the One who knows everything and then we need to move forward because we can trust Him!
What fears have limited your life? In what ways?
This is a continuation to our book club discussion of “Plan B”, by Pete Wilson. This week we’re in Chapter 5: Paralyzed. If you have a response, please add it below and add to the discussion. Whether you’ve read the chapter or not, please share your thoughts!
I used to be so afraid of being me. So I would be the funny guy, the clown and the big mouth…not much freedom there. Thankfully, as I understood more an more who I was in Christ, that fear began to leave.
A great post bro’…thanks for sharing your heart!
Thanks Jay!
It’s a lack of faith and a lack of His love. Gotta have both in increasing measure! My fears look pretty much like yours (minus the heights). I’ve wanted to be liked. I’ve wanted everything perfect. And if it didn’t look like I could achieve that, I would be very afraid and sometimes walk away. No way to live! God is certainly helping me every step of the way. Good word, Kevin. Thank you.
Thanks Jason!
I agree, Fear is the most paralysing of emotions and because the non-conscious mind cannot distinguish between ‘real’ and ‘not real’, unfortunately overcoming that fear is not as easy as just saying ‘Oh, come on, snap out of it!’ Our fears are very often a result of years of subconscious programming and reinforcement. (Every time we say ‘I can’t do that’ or ‘I am afraid of that’ we are reinforcing that subconscious belief). And you are right, so often fear can be traced back to a lack of faith in our own abilities, a lack of faith that we will be supported, and also an inbuilt need to ‘stay in control’. We are unwilling to surrender and just trust and so we fight to ‘stay in control’ and live in fear.
Great post. How do you feel about the fear of surrendering because of ‘needing to retain control’ idea?
Great thoughts Mandy!
I think that many people fear surrendering because they want to retain control. Freedom comes through surrendering everything to God not through control.
Hi Kevin,
Thank you for this post. By pointing out all the ways that your life was impacted by your fear of heights you made a compelling case for each of us to identify what fears may be holding us back. If you had simply said you had a fear of heights it would not have had the same impact as pointing out that you don’t cross certain bridges (so there are likely places you cannot go!) and you’ve never been on a ferris wheel. Even if we aren’t excited about ferris wheels, it’s a powerful picture of a limit placed on a life. And it’s quite sobering to think about fears in terms of losing confidence in God. That gives me a much greater sense of urgency to root out fears and build up my faith. Take care, Allegra
Thanks Allegra!
I agree with some of the commenters above. You did an outstanding job of illustrating of how fear controls your ability at times.
I would have to say that one of my biggest fears is the fear of rejection and offence. I often find myself struggling to say anything to someone because I am afraid that I will be made fun of or rejected. I also have this fear of offending someone in the back of my mind.
Keep up the great posts!
Thanks Gerald!