One of the primary problems of people in our world today is our false belief that we don’t need anyone. We want to be seen as strong. We want to be seen as not requesting or requiring any help from another person.
We falsely believe that we can do life 100% on our own.
I think those of us who are leaders or parents or those who serve as helpers and influencers are especially prone to this false belief since many people depend on us. We feel the pressure (mostly from ourselves) that we need to keep all our problems to ourselves and to not let down other people.
There is some truth to this pressure. Leaders need to keep things in place in order to inspire and guide others but at the same time everyone needs to need others! We are built to need others.
Giving up self-sufficiency is very difficult but it is necessary for our ongoing growth.
Sometimes it takes an encounter with a financial, business, career or relational tsunami to force us to let people in. That’s what it took for me! My crisis was a forced medical leave due to stress.
I didn’t want the crisis to happen but the benefit of letting go of my self-sufficiency made much of it worthwhile. I have grown in so many ways and I am thankful for that.
Do you need to give up self-sufficiency?
***** This post was inspired by Dr. John Townsend’s book “Where Is God?: Finding His Presence, Purpose and Power in Difficult Times
Yes yes to giving up self-sufficiency. When I read the title of this post, I shivered and thought oh I don’t want to do that. Reminded me of reading about the poverty of the spirit – made my ego cringe too. For a long time I was proud of my independence and considered it a strength. Now I realize what an obstacle this attitude is to my growth. Good words to ponder today, Thanks.
Battling self-sufficiency is definitely difficult. We live in a world where independence is promoted over interdependence.
Thanks for sharing Jean!
I gave it up long time ago!! No sense in being a hero without help from others!! We humans need to stick together and help each other out.. Not that you have to tell it to the world and live in whining and looking to puke your situation all over, but sharing with those that you can trust to help you through. Being humble can certainly open our eyes to progress.
Great points Holly!
Thanks for sharing.
Inspirational message Kevin and I admit accepting help is really a tough one for me – maybe that’s why helping others and volunteer work has always been so important to me – some kind of Freudian thing there, huh?
I can totally relate to what you are saying Marty. I too find it much easier to help others than have others help me.
Thanks for sharing!
The term self-sufficiency is usually applied to varieties of sustainable living in which nothing is consumed outside of what is produced by the self-sufficient individuals.
Hi Fatima:
The self-sufficiency that you are describing is not what this post is about. This post is about the need to have other people in our life. It is about being interdependent versus independent.
Thanks for sharing!
Kevin
For me, there is nothing wrong with being independent but there are times when we really needed someone who can help and support us emotionally. like the sense that you have here because this will serve as a reminder to s on how to live a life.
Independence is not bad but we also need interdependence as well. We need to be able to go to others when we are in need and be able to help others when they are in need.
Thanks for sharing Julie!
Totally agree. I have been getting better since my husband and I re-married. We have worked on this and prayed to God to help us be less independent. It has been a wonderful thing for our marriage. To have to trust eachother and let God lead us, not ourselves. Thanks for sharing!
Interdependence is such a blessing to our relationships!
Thanks for sharing Brandy!
Growing up, my mother always told me she liked me because I was ‘self sufficient.’ I thought this was a good thing because in school, I didn’t depend on my mom (like my brother did) to get my school work done. If I needed something signed by her, I made sure it was taken care of without her having to ask me. But, as I starting entering adulthood, I realized that my self sufficiency meant that I depended only on myself and I did not know how to depend on anyone else graciously. And when reality hit me and I was forced to depend on other people because I had gotten prideful and ‘big headed’, I felt like a failure. This gave room for other people to make me feel like I owed them something. Anyway, as time, went on, I realized that while I knew how to handle my business, I was no longer self sufficient. I was God sufficient. God gives me the wisdom and the strength to do His will. He gives me what I need to maintain the household, go to work, get an education, raise my son, be a good family member, etc. The point is, I may always have this independent attitude; but I know now that I will ALWAYS be dependent on the Lord everyday of my life.
Great thoughts Stefanie!
Thanks for sharing.