This post is written by my wonderful and fabulous wife Lauren.
Kevin and I have 3 girls ages 5, 8, and 11. Every Saturday morning around 10:30 we all pitch in to do some weekly chores, mostly cleaning bedrooms and bathrooms and generally tidying up. Every week there is resistance by all three of them to some degree.
Some weeks are better than others but really none of them enjoy this Saturday ritual. They seem to feed off of each other. If one of them is being miserable about doing their job it isn’t long before all of them are in conflict about what is fair and what isn’t.
This past weekend our little community of Port Hardy experienced some crazy weather. When the girls went to bed on Friday night they knew it was raining (which it does A LOT of in Port Hardy). When they got up Saturday morning they had no idea that there was some serious flooding.
Our house and neighbourhood were fine but Kevin headed out to see if there was any way that we could help. I gave the girls a bit of a pep talk about cleaning because I thought there was a possibility that we might end up having to house people who had been affected by the flooding.
Their response to cleaning was absolutely joyful this Saturday. They understood how blessed we were to have a dry, safe home with power and were excited to do their jobs so that they could serve others. No tears, no fighting, no procrastinating. They felt useful and needed.
My kids were happy to serve, it completely changed their perspective on what they would normally consider to be a torturous task. Their response really got me thinking about what meaningful ways we can encourage our kids to serve and use their gifts.
It turns out that we didn’t need to house anyone. However, the positive response of my girls to the immediate need to serve has inspired me to trust them with serving in other ways that I may not have before.
So here’s my question to you: In what ways have you encouraged your children to serve? What has been their response?
We have focussed on prayer in my family. Ethan (6) is always first to want to pray. He is also the first to offer to pray for someone.
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Lauren, you have done a marvelous job training your girls to serve with a cheerful heart. I have personally witnessed this in your girls. You are also a wonderful example to your girls because they constantly see you serving others. You have taught them to put other's needs before their own and this certainly will help them to get the proper perspective in many situations they will face throughout their lives. We constanly need to remind ourselves as parents and grandparents that our children learn through our actions and attitudes.
Good job Lauren!
Amazing how gratitude will change our perspective on serving. Great post. Our kids definitely need encouragement, but they do a good job of helping out and trying to help others. What I've noticed is, if they see it's important to us (as in we engage in it ourselves), then they usually do a better job of engaging.
Thanks so much, Lauren.
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I do not have a quick answer, but you have definitely got me thinking.
I do echo Michael's statement about prayer… My girl is only just now 4, but she is already asking questions about God and in 3K (due to where her birthday falls, she is running a year behind in classes)is starting to memorize scripture.
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We've tried to model service to them, and involved them in our acts of service. I think they both have a respect for the need to serve and a desire to serve.
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Great post. Teaching children to serve will help them to think of other people later in life. Great to teach them early.
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I don't have any children, unfortunately but if I did I'd make sure I'll make them enjoy the act of doing chores… and helping others. Show them that serving others adds more joy to your life. Too often, we think serving is something that requires sacrifice.
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I was thinking about the cleaning scenario. we to see sililar effect sometimes in our home on chores but they get done still. I was also thinking that MY attitude that day has great bearing on thier reaction to requests. Like if I am mopey or obviously complacent about my own daily tasks, so are they. If I do my work with jo an bear in mind the blessings in my life….they are much more joyful helpers of their family. I suppose that's all part and parcel of the "training them up….". But service, give them a project and they are on it! My children love to craft so we make napkin rings for the elderly home to use on their trays for holidays (i.e. poppy rings for Remembrance Day…), or we encourage them to donate clothes and toys, or make Christmas shoe boxes, take baking to the neighbors, and things like that. So why do we not have more projects? Great post and good motivation.
That is awesome Michael!
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Very cool Dusty!
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Mom, I echo everything you said about Lauren!
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Amen Herb!
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"If they see it's important to us (as in we engage in it ourselves), then they usually do a better job of engaging."
Great point Jason!
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Thanks Ted!
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"serving others adds more joy to your life."
Amen! It sure does!
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Thanks for sharing Tania! Lauren is taking a course right now called "The Spiritual Formation of Children." This post was actually a part of an assignment she had to do this week.
This course has definitely got us thinking about how we can continue to encourage our girls to serve (and in more ways).
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