After the miscarriage of our first child we were very apprehensive about our future as parents. We began to wonder if we would ever be able to have children.
The advice that we got from most people was to try to have another baby right away. So that is what we did. A few months later, we found out that Lauren was pregnant again and nine months later we were blessed with our first daughter Bethany.
We were filled with great joy!
It didn’t take us too much time to start thinking about having another child. In our minds, we thought that 2 years would be a great age distance between our children. So that was what we planned for.
And lo and behold, Lauren was pregnant again, right on schedule!
Once again we were ecstatic! We were much less apprehensive during the beginning of this pregnancy because we thought that everything was all “fixed” now and everything would turn out great once again.
The problem was, it didn’t.
Lauren ended up having another miscarriage.
Once again, we were devastated. Once again, we were left wondering why God would allow such a thing to happen. Once again, life had not gone according to our plans.
What do you do when you feel your control is slipping away? This is the theme of chapter three of Pete’s Wilson’s book “Plan B: What Do You Do When God Doesn’t Show Up the Way You Thought He Would?”
In this chapter , Pete states:
The greatest of all illusion is the illusion of control.
Many people (me included) struggle with giving up control. We like to think we can plan out everything for our lives but the hard truth to accept is, we can’t. We will always be faced with shattered dreams and unmet expectations.
I love Pete’s words of encouragement to those of us whose lives are not turning out the way we think they should. He says:
“… you might think you’re losing control. But the truth is, you never had control in the first place. The only thing you do control is how you respond to your disappointments and your unexpected obstacles.”
We internalized a lot of our pain because it hurt too much to think about it.
It took some time before we were willing to surrender our hurt and our plans for children to God It took some time to accept His healing in our lives.
I still struggle with trying to control my life but I am learning that surrender is a much better choice!
Are you a control freak? What do you do when you feel your control is slipping away?
This is a continuation to our book club discussion of “Plan B”, by Pete Wilson. This week we’re in Chapter 3: The illusion of control. If you have a response, please add it below and add to the discussion. Whether you’ve read the chapter or not, share your thoughts!