Virtually all of us have a fear of rejection. We can fall prey to it even when we’ve learned to harden our defenses in anticipation of someone’s disapproval. Fear of rejection is a path that leads to approval addiction.
Neither being defensive nor trying to please another person’s every whim is the answer to this problem. These are only coping mechanisms that prevent us from dealing with the root of our fear.
2 ways to overcome the fear of rejection
1. We must stop believing our position is based on our performance.
Performance is true with people but it’s never true with God. Our performance has nothing to do with our position with God. There is nothing we can do to make God love us more or less! Our performance never impacts or impairs God’s love for me.
2. We must start saying “yes” to pleasing God and “no” to pleasing people.
Our heart must beat to please God and Him alone … not our kids, boss, friend, spouse or anyone else! When we face a decision we shouldn’t ask, “What will my spouse, friend, parents, boss or co-workers think?” We should ask, “What will God think?”
Overcoming the fear of rejection requires the right expectations. People will reject us, be mean, say hurtful things and not want to be our friend! Not every one will like us. Jesus lived a perfect life and yet…
“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering.” Isaiah 53:3
God’s opinion and approval is the only real opinion and approval that counts or matters!
The approval of others is fickle.
It is a recipe for disaster.
It is a path of bitterness,
It is bondage!
“Secure in God’s love, I will not surrender my self-worth to the opinions and judgments of others. When I am rejected, I will not retaliate; when I am hurt, I will allow God’s love to heal me. And knowing the pain of rejection, I will seek to love those who suffer from its anguish.” Lloyd Ogilvie
How and where are you seeking the approval of others? What are you compromising so others will like you? Are you really living for an audience of one?