If I close my eyes, I can still see the hospital room and feel the excitement of the big moment. It was early in the morning on November 8, 1998. After a very long day and night our daughter Bethany was about to be born.
The excitement and anticipation had been building for months. We were as ready as we’d ever be. At 25 years of age, I was going to be a dad – and I was scared stiff!
I had no experience.
I felt completely unqualified.
As with all first time parents I had to learn as I fumbled along. It was on the job training. Of course I have made a ton of mistakes in the process (and I will continue to make mistakes).
Somehow though we have survived the first 13 years of parenting. Our oldest daughter is officially a teenager today! (And I thought I was scared then:))
I know I still have a lot to learn and I will have to learn it on the job. Over the past 13 years though I have learned a few things about being a parent.
3 practical suggestions on parenting
1. Listen to your children.
Become a student of your son or daughter by simply listening to not only what he is she is telling you but how it is being said.
2. Spend time with your children.
Contrary to popular opinion our children don’t want stuff; they want us! They want to spend time with us. They want to be with us. The best things in life are free. Be generous with hugs, kisses, affirmation and praise. Lift your kids up and tell them how proud you are of them.
3. Pray for your children.
Never underestimate the power of praying for your children. Pray for and with them at meals and bedtime, during your commute to work, when dropping them off at school and quietly in their room while they’re sleeping. Let God know that you see your children as a blessing.
A difficult question
When I am old and gray and my girls are grown and gone will I look back with a sense of peace and joy? Or will I have regrets and wonder what could have been?
I believe the key to living a regret-free life is often found in one’s ability to see the end at the beginning.
When our house becomes quiet and tidy and the curtain falls on my job of intense, day-to-day parenting, what will I remember about this time?
Here are a few things I’ll remember:
- Hearing my daughter’s first cries and holding them tight, scared to death that I would drop them …
- Late night drives in the rain on a dark road to help an upset toddler fall asleep …
- First steps and first words …
- Skinned knees and bruised elbows …
- Board games and walks …
- BBQ’s at the beach and family vacations …
- And, best of all, seeing their eyes light up and their hearts open up to the reality of the gospel and the life and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
These are only a smattering of the memories and I know there are many more still to be made. In the end, these will be among the things that will really matter.
What practical suggestions on parenting do you have to offer?
***** This post was inspired by “Day 6: No Experience Required” from the book “The 21-Day Dad’s Challenge” by Carey Casey
What a lovely, inspirational article – thanks Kevin.
marquita herald recently posted…How to Use Mistakes to Help You Succeed
Thanks Marty!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…Is God’s grace really sufficient?
HI kevs all I can say in here was congrats you because i think that time is the best time of your life because you see now your daughter.. this article you share in here was great inspiration..
I am truly a blessed man.
Thanks for sharing Fatima!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…7 ways to relationally connect with our children
Yeah that’s right kevs you are really a blessed man, I hope my husband too.. thanks for your reply kevs godbless..
Kevin,
My wife and I are talking about a kid in the next two to three years. I appreciate the insight, especially into the listening. Thanks!
Andy
Andy Nathan recently posted…LinkTube Is Pretty Cool
Parenting is definitely an exciting journey!
Thanks for sharing Andy!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…True leaders are distinguished by their character!
Thanks for the wonderful article.
When you said, “Contrary to popular opinion our children don’t want stuff; they want us!” I couldn’t help but shout AMEN! That is my daughter’s biggest issue. She really doesn’t care so much for the toys as she does for time. It can’t even be time in the same area. She wants you to be engaged with her. so, that is my biggest advice. Engage your children. Don’t just be with them, be with them. Give them your undivided attention.
Rev. Gerald Collins recently posted…Prayer Series
You are right Gerald, engaging our children is so important.
Thanks for sharing!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…7 ways to relationally connect with our children
Wow Kevin! You make some really great points. It is about living in the moment isn’t it! Don’t wish to be done with the job of being a parent. And when you are my age, it is awesome to look at the most amazing productive and genuinely cool people they have become!
Parenting is definitely about living in the moment and cherishing the moments!
Thanks for sharing Lynda!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…Having a bad day?
My biggest reminder here is the reminder to Listen. My wife reminded me recently, after I came barging in on some argument the kids were having, that I don’t listen well. Imagine: me, a counselor, not listening well?!
Anyway, I’m slowly learning. And as we listen, we hopefully gain appreciation for our child’s temperament, love language, and unique outlook on life. Our accurate understanding and valuing of who they are will be one of our greatest gifts to them as parents.
Steve-Personal Success Factors recently posted…Success Factors For Surfing Slumps
Listening is such a powerful gift we can give our children.
Thanks for sharing Steve!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…The power of a simple gift
I will never forget the December day in 1982 when I was left alone in my hospital bed with our firstborn daughter. The awe, the amazement, the near panic as I gazed upon her tiny face and KNEW my life had changed forever. We were responsible for this little girl, and the training that would shape her and determine who she would become.
Today we are the parents of 7 children, and ALL of them are walking with the Lord. We know it is He who has so blessed us.
What you have written in your post is absolutely awesome, and I really can’t add a whole lot. But if I were to give you two pieces of advice as you embark on the teen years with your daughter, it would be this…
1. Choose your battles wisely.
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Willena Flewelling
Willena Flewelling recently posted…NaNoWriMo is November is NaNoWriMo
That is great advice Willena!
Thanks!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…Funny baby video
I couldn’t agree more..Sometimes I think that having 3 kids and trying to educate them it is harder that Hercules, defeating the Hydra…But you give me here some courage. I think the most important is not giving up:)
Not giving up is definitely important!
Thanks for sharing Anna!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…Questioning God