Shooting the Breeze

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The F word that I am going to be discussing here is probably not the F word that first came to your mind. The F word is FEAR. Fear is what stops dreams from becoming realities. Fear is what stops good ideas from becoming implemented. Fear is a very powerful emotion that is ingrained deeply in a lot of us (if not all of us.)

It has been ingrained in us because the media loves to glamorize the downfalls of others (and deep down we have a fascination with seeing others fail too – some more than others). And it’s our fascination with seeing others fail that keeps the media sharing it. If it didn’t draw ratings, they wouldn’t bother sharing it, right?

I think this is partly due to the fact that it reinforces within us this false idea that it is crazy and futile to challenge the status quo. So why bother, right? Nobody wants to be labeled a failure and nobody wants to be on the front page of the newspaper or on CNN being called a failure. So we have this vicious cycle. Fear is ingrained in us, it is reinforced through the media and it is further ingrained in us.

Is failure an option for you?

April 15, 2013 — 29 Comments

Michael Jordan once said in a Nike commercial:

“I’ve missed more than nine thousand shots in my career. I’ve lost almost three hundred games. Twenty six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

In Personal growth

7 tips to develop patience

April 9, 2013 — 8 Comments

I have a confession to make. Patience is very difficult to me. I like things to move quickly. I don’t like delays. I don’t like to wait. Patience does not come easily for me.

I know I am not the only one who struggles with patience. It is a universal problem. We have become an impatient and oftentimes angry culture. We see it at work. We see it in school. We see it on the highways. Our culture is in constant hurry up mode.

Here’s the problem with our lack of patience. There are many things in life that just can’t be rushed. They will take time to achieve. Sometimes there will be signs of progress and other times we will need to just wait patiently for things to run their course. If we don’t develop patience then we might miss out altogether as we bail out just before the big breakthrough.

In Personal growth

3 ways to overcome the fear of failure

April 2, 2013 — 14 Comments

The fear of failure can be very powerful in our lives if we let it. It can cause us to not do things that we should and could be doing. It can cause a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

The fear of failure can lead to the path of perfection to avoid failure. We end up working hard, killing ourselves because we are so consumed in the details to try to avoid failure. We end up trying to control everything. We get critical of others. This is all in an attempt to avoid failure.

The fear of failure can also lead to the path of pointlessness to avoid failure. We give up before even trying. We think things like: Why attempt it if we’re just going to fail again? We tell our self it’s stupid to think we could do it so we give up before trying to avoid another failure.

In Personal growth

How do we overcome the fear of losing control? Part 1

March 26, 2013 — 6 Comments

Many people fear the “what if’s” of life. It is very easy for us to write a script and fill in the blanks when nothing has happened. When we go down the “what if” path it causes us to be anxious and fearful.

The “What if” lane is all about the fear of losing control.

In Personal growth

The fear of losing control

March 25, 2013 — 6 Comments

Have you ever gotten freaked out? Have you ever been gripped by fear and worry? Have you ever been in a state of panic because your imagination took off and you imagined the worst? Have you ever gone down the “what if” lane?

Isn’t it amazing how easy we can write a script and fill in the blanks when nothing has happened?

We think things like:

What if they crashed and died?
What if my spouse is having an affair?
What if I lose my job?
What if they are talking about me?

I know if f I let myself, I can fill in the “what if’s” blanks like the script of a movie with all kinds of scenarios when I don’t know what’s going on.

In Personal growth

12 tips on the art of saying no

March 14, 2013 — 26 Comments

Saying no is extremely difficult for many people. I am one of those people. Sometimes we say yes to requests of us in order to get along with others and/or be popular. Ultimately we fear rejection or conflict that may come if we end up saying no.

In Personal growth