Margin in emotional energy is critical. When we are emotionally resilient we can confront our problems with a sense of hope and power. When our emotional reserves are depleted we are seriously weakened.
“Emotional overload saps our strength, paralyzes our resolve, and maximizes our vulnerability, leaving the door open for even further margin erosion.” Richard Swenson pg. 79 “Margin”
If we find our emotional energy gone, how can we get it back? What are the factors that will not only protect our emotional reserves from unnecessary depletion but will replenish the supply at regular intervals?
10 ways to restore margin in emotional energy
(from “Margin” by Richard Swenson pages 86-92)
1. Cultivate social supports
The existence of intact, functioning, healthy, nurturing systems of social support are as good a resource for replenishing depleted energy reserves as can be found.
2. Pet a surrogate
Pets are capable of bonding, are extremely loyal and often exhibit deep appreciation for our affections – exactly the kind of responses needed to increase our emotional reserves.
3. Reconcile relationships
Broken relationships are like a razor across the artery of the spirit. True reconciliation is one of the most powerful of all human interactions.
4. Serve one another
One of the best ways to heal your own emotional pain is to focus instead on meeting the needs of others.
5. Rest
Get away occasionally. Escape. Relax. Sleep in. Take a nap. Try setting aside time regularly for some quiet and rest. Rest restores.
6. Laugh
Laughter is the best medicine. This isn’t just a platitude it is true! People who laugh readily heal faster. Try laughing every four minutes. I guarantee something positive will happen to your emotions.
7. Cry
Crying is a form of emotional purging. Laughter lifts; crying cleanses. Both are partners in the process of emotional restoration.
8. Create appropriate boundaries
Boundaries are about establishing a perimeter around the personal and private spaces of our lives and not letting the world come crashing in uninvited. This is not an issue of selfishness but instead of self-care.
9. Envision a better future
We all must have a purpose bigger than ourselves to live for. We must have something we can believe in, something we can give ourselves to. When we do, every expenditure of emotion will have meaning and every expenditure of emotion will be reimbursable.
10. Offer thanks
In everyone’s life there is much to be grateful for and also much to be unhappy about. Realistically acknowledging both ends of the spectrum is appropriate. Unfortunately, most of the time our emotions dwell on the problems and forget about our obligation to gratitude. All people have within their grasp much to be thankful for. Gratitude fills. Grumbling drains. The choice is yours.
What else would you add to this list? What has helped you to restore your emotional energy?
I am continuing on in my book club discussions of Richard Swenson’s book “Margin.” This week I read Chapter 7: Margin in emotional energy. Whether you’ve read the chapter or not, please share your thoughts!
Having a break, taking a vacation doesn’t mean that you’re totally afraid of facing the situation. Sometimes, giving time to ourselves do help us to think more, to make the right decision so in the end, we’ll achieve a better result. I guess, that’s what most people tend to forget, just like me.
It is always good to take a break to get a fresh perspective. I know that this has been very valuable in my experience.
Thanks for sharing Mark!
Absolutely true! If we’re lucky enough, we might find useful lessons that we can make use in our lives.
Thanks Kevin, nice post to start the day with.
Sometime we just get drained and all of those tips are great ways to refill the tank.
Peter
The key is that the tank is continually getting drained and we need to be continually filling it or else it will run dry.
Thanks for sharing Peter!
What a great set of energizing tools you’ve shared with us Kevin. Each one builds on the next. I would add a really great tool I’ve found and am now using – EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique. Very powerful, very effective.
RICK
Thanks for sharing Rick!
Kevin,
such a great List! REST is so important. Most people could benefit from rest during the day or the weekend. Most people don’t get enough sleep and never take time to rest during the day! #10 Thanks is so critical. When we are thankful for the good things in our life, more good things follow. Wish I had learned that so many years ago!
Thanks,
Jupiter Jim
Thanks for sharing Jim!
Hi Kevs,
This 10 ways you share here was really great, rest is very important to every one, if you are stress you dont need to work and work you must take care of your self and take a rest.
Rest is definitely critically important to our overall health.
Thanks for sharing Fatima!
That’s right Kevin I agree with that thanks for your reply I appreciate.