A story is told of a man who was asked back to his forty-year high school reunion. For months he saved to take his wife back to the place and the people he’d left four decades before.
The closer the time came for the reunion, the more excited he became, thinking of all the wonderful stories he would hear about the changes and the accomplishments these old friends would tell him.
The night before he left he pulled out his old yearbooks, read the silly statements and the good wishes for the future that students write to each other.
He wondered what ol’ Number 86 from his football team had done. He even tried to guess what some of his friends would look like, and what kind of jobs and families some of these special friends had.
The day came to leave and he had a friend drive him and his wife to the airport and he was excited. His friend dropped them off and told them he would see him Sunday evening to pick them up
Sunday evening arrived and his friend came to the airport to pick him and his wife up. As the man got off the plane, he seemed almost despondent. His friend didn’t want to ask, but finally he said, “Well, how was the reunion?”
He responded, “It was one of the saddest experiences of my life.”
“What happened,” his friend said more than a little surprised.
To this the man replied “It wasn’t what happened but what didn’t happen. It has been forty years; forty years—and they haven’t changed. They had simply gained weight, changed clothes, gotten jobs…but they hadn’t really changed. And what I experienced was maybe one of the most tragic things I could ever imagine about life. For reasons I can’t fully understand, it seems as though some people choose not to change.”
There was a long silence as they walked back to the car.
On the drive home, the man turned to his friend and said, “I never, never want that to be said of me. Life is too precious, too sacred, and too important. If you ever see me go stagnant like that, I hope you give me a quick, swift kick where I need it. I hope you’ll love me enough to challenge me to keep growing.”
Some people choose not to change
This is a very sad story but there is so much truth in it. Many people choose not to change. Many people are content with the status quo. Many people are content to coast through life. Many people are content to simply go through the motions.
I don’t want to be one of those people!
I want to make my life count!
I want my life to make a difference!
I want to always be growing and learning!
Two ways to continue to grow and learn
1. Read! Read! Read!
Reading is crucial to our ongoing growth and learning. I do not believe a person can continue to grow and learn without being a reader. I just can’t see how that is possible.
I try to focus on reading books that challenge me to grow in different aspects of my life whether it be vocationally or personally. My goal is to read 2 books a month. Two books I have read recently are: “AND: The Gathered and Scattered Church” by Hugh Halter and “Sticky Church” by Larry Osborne. The next book on my reading list is “Your Life in Rhythm“
2. Go to conferences.
Conferences are a great way to be exposed to excellent teachers and speakers. Conferences usually have a fire hose approach to learning but something I have found very helpful is taking the time to make good notes and then go over them after the conference. This helps me remember and put into practice what I have learned.
My goal is to go to at least one conference a year. This past May I went to the “Emotionally Healthy Leadership Conference” that is led by Pete and Geri Scazzero. In 2013 I am planning on going to the “Knowing Christ Conference” where one of my favourite authors, John Ortberg, will be speaking.
How are you continuing to grow and learn?
Good admonition, Kevin. I think besides learning (which is very important), we have to take risks and apply what we’ve learned. Jesus gave Peter the go ahead to step out of the boat and walk on water, but he still had to get out of the boat. When we can apply what we’ve learned, we’ve truly learned it. Thanks Kevin.
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Jason Stasyszen recently posted…5 (New) Things I Don’t Get
Great point Jason! Learning with application is not the goal. We MUST put into action what we have learned.
Thanks for sharing!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…4 benefits of community
Inspirational as always Kevin. Thing is, if we’re honest with ourselves, we don’t have to wait to go to a high school reunion to see those kinds of examples. Over the years I’ve gently bid fond farewell to more than a few friends (and a relative or two) because people who choose not to change become uncomfortable and a bit testy when they see you changing and growing. It’s a matter of overcoming flock mentality.
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marquita herald recently posted…Choose to Grow Stronger Through Life’s Occasional Detours
Very true Marquita! Those who don’t want to change do not want to be around those who do.
Thanks for sharing!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…If you want to make your life count you must have passion
Hi Marquita,
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I agree with you on the last part you said. I have some friends way back in highschool who always thought that the behavior you had back then is still the same as it is 10-15 years after. They were surprised when they saw me – I was once a quite chubby, geekish, quiet girl during highschool, but at our highschool reunion, they saw that I was quite slim and I was really conversing with my classmates (they were really surprised!). Well, I’m not really sure if I have classmates there who have had preferred the highschool me.
Felicia recently posted…Isildur1′s Back In Business!
Well, when it comes to changing ourselves for better improvement, I’d also want to change like that. I agree, reading is a great way to learn and re-learn things, and once you know how to read, it will never be taken away from you. It can be regarded as a precious (yet something taken for granted by many of us) gift given by our parents or loved ones.
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Felicia recently posted…Full Tilt Poker Hiring Staff
Reading is an incredible gift that, as you said, can be easily taken for granted. I don’t want to take this gift for granted.
Thanks for sharing Felicia!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…Who are you influencing?
I have seen this even at my 10 year reunion and it really is sad. Only a few have found their passion and are excited about life… but the ones I thought would do a lot, just have been stagnant. It IS tragic.
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Nile recently posted…Facebook Tagging Etiquette
It is definitely tragic to see people who are content with being stagnant and content with the status quo.
Thanks for sharing Nile!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…2 things that prevent us from believing that God loves us
I agree for what you said in here sir kev’s. we must choose not to change. because theres some people that just to surrender their selves…
Change is necessary for growth and we must always be willing to change to continue to grow.
Thanks for sharing Fatima!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…God’s love is permanent and unchanging
Yes sir kev’s I agree for what you said in here.. thanks for your reply…
It is a little like the saying you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink Kevin.
Sadie-Michaela Harris recently posted…Facebook Ads the Facts by Infographic
Great point Sadie!
Thanks for sharing!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…6 practical ways to confront people’s blind spots
Change is crucial. Getting stuck sucks.
I don’t think it’s that people want to get stuck; I think they don’t know what to do. I’ve personally experienced this myself. Reading is not enough, because a person can read and read and still have no direction or vision. It’s exceptionally more complicated these days with Facebook and other nonstop media. Constantly the focus is on our social image and with the inherent orientation towards how others see us. This hampers authentic living and promotes people pleasing.
For myself, I can say that I went through some tough times and lost my anchor. God certainly seemed to be nowhere, and it’s not because I didn’t look for him. The agony of silence is gut-wrenching. The agony of lost dreams and aimlessness is even worse. It’s a feeling of life slipping away and there’s nothing that can be done to stop it.
There’s also a sense of learned helplessness. Sometimes people get to the point where they feel no amount of effort will change anything. People won’t try not because they don’t want to change but because they don’t think change and their hopes and aspirations are possible. Thorough’s comment comes to mind about falling down and talking about the fallen state of mankind and not doing anything to try to get up from where one has fallen.
People clearly need to see a picture of the kingdom of God painted. It’s not merely “Jesus died for your sins”. It’s “enter God’s realm where your life has a purpose and travel the path Jesus walked to find your significance”.
Deep down, people are scared they are utterly insignificant. Understanding God’s kingdom can change that, because to God people are significant. We have a unique role and special priceless value and that is why Jesus gave his life for us. In a world that reduces people to biological accident, that is a big deal. It’s a bit deal that God is superveniently above everything and that we can’t mess things up… It gives us hope that God knows our process on this path and we can’t just get lost off of it. There are so many implications tied to understanding and having a picture painted of the fullness of God’s kingdom.
I recently switched churches because of this. I was tired of the pastor talking about sin and not about God’s kingdom. People won’t stop sinning just because they know what sin is or focus on not doing it. They stop sinning the more they know and experience God and the abundance of his kingdom. Knowing God changes people, the relational knowing of His being. It’s the relationship itself that’s transformative and gives meaning and purpose and vision. It’s how people become unstuck. It’s how I became unstuck.
Wow! You have shared a lot of great thoughts in your comment Sara. I totally agree with you about salvation being more than just forgiveness of our sins. It is definitely a whole new life and outlook on life.
Thanks for sharing!
Kevin Martineau recently posted…How to find your focus in life
We can not change people according to our will, but we can change ourselves in order to live with others.
erwin recently posted…Spinning Bikes
Great point Erwin.
Thanks for sharing.
Kevin Martineau recently posted…How do we slow down when life feels out of control?