There is a very common lie that many people believe and it causes a lot of unnecessary pain in their lives. The lie is this: I am what I do. It’s the performance mentality lie that tells us that our worth comes from what we do.
3 things the performance mentality lie focuses on:
1. It wrongly focuses on our accomplishments.
Most of us when we accomplish something feel good about ourselves. You might be the top producer in your company and now you feel valued. You might have got the promotion and you feel good. Maybe you’ve earned a certain level of income and that makes us feel worthwhile. In and of themselves, these things are not bad. The problem starts when we base our identity and worth on these things.
2. It focuses on what we have.
We so often wrongly define our worth by what we have. We get the nice car and we think: “Look at me. Even though I financed this over 84 months at 8% interest, I am the cat’s meow.”
Or we may say things like: “Have you seen the clothes that I wear? The places we take our kids? The vacations we go on?” It is not wrong to have nice things BUT we can’t base our worth on these things.
3. It wrongly focuses on what other people think about us.
Sadly, we often wrongly base our worth on what others think about us. I have struggled with this. This has led me to think things like: “If I preach a good message, people will say they like me or they will say good things to me or about me.”
Or “I want everyone to think I am the most dedicated pastor so I am going to be at every thing the church has to offer and I am never going to say ‘No’ to anything that anyone asks of me.” The truth is, that is crazy talk! Unfortunately I lived that way for a long time.
God determines who we are. We have to let that truth settle in our hearts. We are not our accomplishments, or what we accumulate or what others think of us. Don’t confuse the who with the do!
We are who God says we are.
And who does God say we are?
- We are God’s children (John 1:12).
- We are Christ’s friend (John 15:15).
- We are new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17).
- We are complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10).
- We have been bought a price and we belong to God (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
- We have been seated in the heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6).
Who are we? We are who God says we are!
And I don’t want you to say: “What I do is not important” because it is. Look at Ephesians 2:10. This verse says:
“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
God wants us to do the right thing. We are created to do good works that God prepared in advance for us TO DO. What we do is important but the motive in which we do it is even more important.
How have you struggled with the performance mentality?
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Looking for approval from others as a basis for our self-esteem is a recipe for disaster. It’s a way full of compromise, rejection, and heartache. I’ve been a people-pleaser in the past and I don’t want to go back! Thanks for the great points, Kevin.
It is definitely a recipe for disaster.
Thanks for sharing Jason!
I’ve struggled with this same thing. If our actions define us then the selfish acts of gaining the favor of men, says we are pathetic.
If our actions are based on the will of the Father, then we won’t give a hoot who thinks what.
“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these other things will be appointed unto you.”
Priorities….
Good one!
Great thoughts Floyd!
Thanks for sharing.
Great topic, Kevin. I think you make good points about why a performance-based mentality is dangerous.
However, the Who vs. What argument is flawed from the beginning. I think instead of approaching it as Who OR What the focus should be Who AND What.
What do you think of the implications of James 2:14-26?
That’s a great point. It’s definitely both.
Thanks for sharing.
Kevin,
Believing we are what we do is one of the greatest tricks of the ego! And we must never let the ego take charge of us.
Great point Joshua!
Thanks for sharing.
One of the primary reasons we focus on performance is to satisfy our EGO. Ego stands for: Edging God Out. When we stop focusing on us, then we begin to Exalt God Only. That’s the fix for a broken EGO.
I am the author of Glasses in the Grass: Devotions for My Friends. Thanks for the follow and any comments you would like to leave at .
I really like the acronym R.E.! That’s such a great way to put it!
Thanks for sharing.
I have actually been going through life with this kind of thinking. I am what I do – I agree, the problem starts when we base our identity with our accomplishments and the income we earn.
I strongly agree with your point #3. I know someone who can’t say “No” to anyone, even if they are strangers. It’s shocking that his way of not being able to say “No” to anyone leads to unpleasant incidents happening – to the point it’s quite sad.
Thanks for sharing Felicia!
Hey Kevin
This is such a thoughtful share. You have got me thinking. I have always evaluated myself on what others think of me. I am now learning to love myself than to depend on others. Thanks for this great share.
Thanks for sharing Richa!
“People think ogres are bad. And for the longest time, I believed they’re right. But I came to realize I should trust and believe in who I really am.” This is from one of my daughter’s favorite movies — Shrek. The thing is, most of us are like Shrek. We get bothered by what people say about us; and when they say we are a “monster”, we actually believe and sometimes act like one. But when we learn to refocus and see that we are really made of a different and better “stuff”, then we will realize we don’t have to conform and please others all the time. We are inherently good and we should never forget that it’s what we are really meant to be.
Great illustration from Shrek! That is so true.
Thanks for sharing Joy.
God has definitely pre-determind who we are and nothing can ever change the fact that we are fearfully and wonderfully made by him. Our self-esteem issues dampen our morale in more ways than one so we need to be empowered enough to overcome the obstacles we are confronted with. Thanks for the enlightening share!
Thanks for sharing Kristine!
Hi Kevin,
A very engaging post!! You rightly said what we do, doesn’t define us. Even if we do good, people have something to say, good or bad their choice. The quotes posted in this share are truly inspiring. I got a food for thought after reading this post. An honest thanks to you, for sharing this wonderful and inspiring post.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and adding to the discussion Aayna!