It is way too easy to blame others or circumstances for our failings or shortcomings. We say things like:
“I wouldn’t have gotten mad if you weren’t so judgmental.”
“I wouldn’t have hurt you if you just had listened to me.”
This is an area that God has been working on me for the past number of years. I have to say that it has not been easy (or fun) but it has been rewarding.
Playing the blame game
For most of my life, I have blamed others and circumstances for how I felt or how I acted.
If I was angry it was because someone or something had caused me to be angry.
If I was stressed out it was because of other people or circumstances.
If I acted inappropriately in a situation it was the other person’s fault.
Taking responsibility for our actions
I am now learning that I have to take responsibility for my actions and my feelings because no one else can.
I choose to get angry.
I choose to get stressed out.
I choose to act inappropriately.
No one or nothing else causes me or forces me to do these things. I can’t blame people or circumstances for my actions and feelings. I am responsible for them!
Looking at life differently
This has taught me to look at life very differently. Instead of immediately blaming others or circumstances for my actions or feelings I am now recognizing my part in the situation.
I have to pause and evaluate why I am choosing to allow this circumstance or this person to influence my actions or feelings. By doing this it forces me to take responsibility.
How about you? Do you find it easy to blame others for your failings and shortcomings? Have you learned to take responsibility for your actions and feelings?