It is way too easy to blame others or circumstances for our failings or shortcomings. We say things like:
“I wouldn’t have gotten mad if you weren’t so judgmental.”
“I wouldn’t have hurt you if you just had listened to me.”
“I would have done better on my last project if I didn’t have to work with [fill in the blank].”
This is an area that God has been working on me for the past number of years. I have to say that it has not been easy (or fun) but it has been rewarding.
Playing the blame game
For most of my life, I have blamed others and circumstances for how I felt or how I acted.
If I was angry it was because someone or something had caused me to be angry.
If I was stressed out it was because of other people or circumstances.
If I acted inappropriately in a situation it was the other person’s fault.
Taking responsibility for our actions
I am now learning that I have to take responsibility for my actions and my feelings because no one else can.
I choose to get angry.
I choose to get stressed out.
I choose to act inappropriately.
No one or nothing else causes me or forces me to do these things. I can’t blame people or circumstances for my actions and feelings. I am responsible for them!
Looking at life differently
This has taught me to look at life very differently. Instead of immediately blaming others or circumstances for my actions or feelings I am now recognizing my part in the situation.
I have to pause and evaluate why I am choosing to allow this circumstance or this person to influence my actions or feelings. By doing this it forces me to take responsibility.
How about you? Do you find it easy to blame others for your failings and shortcomings? Have you learned to take responsibility for your actions and feelings?
Love that opening quote–very insightful! And yes, I’ve played the blame game much more than I’d care to admit, but I know it’s worthless. It’s hard to admit that the problem lies within yourself, but once we do, we can see God bring freedom into it. Thanks for the reminder.
Very true Jason.
Thanks for sharing!
Love the image on who to blame! But if we are to blame just accept it as a challenge.
Thanks for sharing Ann!
I agree with this post. In the end, we are the one who made the choice to act in a certain situation. It is unfair to put the blame to another person.
Thanks for sharing Richard!
Hello Kevin
This quote, “The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins~” by Bob Moawad illuminates the importance of not playing the blame game. You have shared a real life experience about the blame game. As I read your words,”I am now learning that I have to take responsibility for my actions and my feelings because no one else can.” they remind me of the words from John 8:32). Like you I am learning and each day the message in Philippiams 4:13 gives me the strength to not play the blame game.
Thanks
Perry A Davis Jr
Music City
Love that quote Perry!
Thanks for sharing!
Kevin, I love the opening quote and this article on blame! So many times it’s easier to blame someone else for our problems rather than taking responsibility for them ourselves. When you look at life differently like you suggested we realize that is wrong to blame others. Thanks for the insights.
Thanks for sharing Shelley!